Accepting Responsibility

Along with accepting yourself and the way you are also comes the need to accept responsibility.

I didn’t gain 60kg over night, it wasn’t some curse that someone put on me. No, I ate those 60kg all by myself. I did it knowing that it wasn’t good for me. I needed that behaviour, and maybe I even needed that weight to help me, to protect me.

Doris Wolf, a German author, said that we have behaved in a way that was necessary for us, and that therefore we also have exactly the body that we needed; that we consciously or unconsciously did everything to shape the body that we have now. Whether we like it or not (the fact as well as the body), it was necessary for us to have this body.

However, even though I do accept that I am responsible for looking the way I do, I also know that it was the only way I knew how to cope. I used food as a coping mechanism to deal with situations and emotions that otherwise might have become too much for me at the time. Should I condemn myself for that? No, I need to forgive myself for that.

I CAN forgive myself for that. Everybody has different ways of coping. Some people work excessively, some people drink, some people eat. This was my way of dealing with the challenges that my life threw at me. I created my body, every kg of it. But now I am finding new ways to cope with challenges. I am finding another way to deal, so I don’t need to use food anymore. And that will give me the chance to change my body along with my frame of mind.